Prayer Part Two "And They Answered"

“And They Answered”

Col.Thrashers Desk

“In a time of despair, we cried out to the gods. “The quote is inscribed on Captain Thrasher's desk. His head is shaped like an eel and his face is red due to the extreme stress. The captain talks as I daydream, watching the rockets go into space. Jealously fills my heart with rage as my face begins to turn red. I wonder why am I still here? Protocol has never lasted this long before. Then I think of the reasons why they haven’t dispatched me yet. The first reason I came up with is the amount of public scrutiny. Explorers are known for our unbearable depression when we come home. Life in space is so much different from home. All of society’s rules are gone once you're on a journey. Then I think of my age, technically I’m well over one hundred and fifty years old. Maybe it is time for retirement? Even though I wouldn’t know a thing to do in retirement.

Thrasher coughs up some blood before slipping out the words, “Star Command regrets to inform you that your time of service is no longer needed. Star Command assumes that retirement from service best suits you and our current needs.” Thrasher begins to cough up more blood as my gut sinks into my stomach. The thoughts of my last time in space begin to rise in my mind. As the Colonial continues his message, “Command will grant the rewards due in service. As we chose to move forward at this time.” At least I get to keep my meaningless pension. A reward I never planned on cashing in.

           “Star Command still grants the use of veteran healthcare. We will also reward the 25 million in pension. Star Command also grants the use of any therapeutic and psychological health services. Understood?” I nod quickly. Thrasher continued to read the sheet, “Star Command will terminate all pension and healthcare services under the following violations. Reentering the workforce as an active participant. Unless working as a consultant or professor. The acceptance of any independent or private mission. Without the acceptance of Star Command management. Is this understood?” I nod at the colonial and then proceed to ask a question. “What about astronomical research?” Thrasher goes into a deep investigation of the sheet. His eyes aren’t as fast as they used to be. I think to myself about paper and all its meaning. Paper can be destroyed so easily, ripped with our bare hands. Yet something so easy to destroy holds so much meaning. I am being forced into retirement due to a policy. I agreed to the same policy when I was eight.

           Thrasher interrupts my deep thoughts with a yes. Before restarting his reading of the paper of death. I think of a time when I was stranded on Kepler 12 moon. Now Kepler’s 12 is named Hades. Due to its dark green atmosphere and intense lightning storms. The outpost was always covered in a forest green light, from Hades. Thrasher snaps me out of the memory by delivering more bad news.  “Star Command also requires the completion of the reintegration process”. I’m surprised he didn’t choke and die from the bullshit that he just read. “This rehabilitation process consists of the following. Four hours a week of public presence, whether it is restaurant park, you understand the point.” As he continues my face goes deeper into a rage. I remain stoic and emotionless on the surface. However looking in the reflection behind Thrasher, my face has turned red like a tomato. “The following completion of twenty therapy seasons a month. Split evenly between group therapy and one-on-one sessions.”

           Command has turned on itself becoming the biggest hypocrite I know. Ever since I was a child they trained me to handle the extreme isolation of space travel. “I also see you haven’t added a spouse, partner, or any sort of romantic interest?” Thrasher asks the rhetorical question. “Well Colonial with this career, I found it best not to subject others to this cause.” Thrasher nods before coughing up more blood. “In order to complete the reintegration process there must be the following. The completion of three activate dates per week. There is also the attendance of two social events per month. I’m guessing you don’t have friends and family?” He quickly looks into my eyes as I shake my head no.

           “That’s fine the completion of Star Command explorer events will succeed, or private events will be fine.” Thrasher stops reading the paper for a moment. “Just sneak inside two wedding receptions it counts.” I do my best not to roll my eyes. This is all because some people with opinions took over. Star Command never cared about us dying until the protesters showed up with their homemade signs. They gave into the powerless and now I must suffer. Once the powerless win one company over for three months. They will go on to the next company for three months. Then forget all about the people they were so called fighting for. And, now I am left to suffer through the consequences.

           Thrasher continued, “Do you understand the terms of this policy?” I paused for a moment before answering. Taking a drink of the coffee with whiskey that Thrasher put in front of me earlier. “I understand the conditions of this agreement”. Thrasher smiles, “Good I’m glad no need to lose everything you’ve worked so hard for.” No just the freedom that I used to have. All the true freedom that we look for here in our home world. It doesn’t exist. “Would you like to take the lump sum of 25 million dollars?” he knows I want the cash upfront. Star Command is subject to change its mind again.

           “With the agreement of the lump sum. Within the next two years if the following events have not been completed. Then there will be the due payment of 25 million dollars. Is this understood?” I nod reluctantly to the terms.

           Thrasher puts the sheet down. He pours another cup of whiskey coffee before talking once again. “I know this is the end and this sucks for me as well. I’m getting replaced by my little girl. Going home to a studio apartment because my wife fucked the bartender across the street. And, I can’t stand the sight of her now. The kids are all grown and I’ve missed all of it. Now to just hand it all over to my daughter.” I chuckle a bit not knowing if I should or not. The one problem I’ve always had about interacting with humans. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry with them. I lost the understanding of others' emotions a long time ago. Exactly about the same time I lost interest in trying to understand their emotions.

           Thrasher continued, “I’ve known you since you were eight years old. You are like a son to me”. A few tears fall from his eyes as he wipes them with a napkin. In the reflection my face remains, unfazed by his ridiculous nature. “I’m proud that you came back in the pursuit of understanding our universe.” I guess I am a little hard on him. Thrasher is the only father I’ve never known. I prefer to remain considered as an orphan. However, a rise of comfort began to fill my chest. “I never told you this” I began telling the truth.

           “After I came home the first time, from my first mission of Kepler 5 – Requiem. Which seeing that planet for the first time. I’m sorry Colonial maybe I shouldn’t discuss such matters.” I began to stand up. Thrasher holds up his hand, “best to tell the truth to me rather than some idiot with a piece of paper.” I relax in my seat before looking at the desk with disgust. “I’ve seen so many Titans of the universe. I always felt like I would see Titans through the rest of my life. The majestic planets with their variant colors. Their ever-changing atmospheres, the ones who were alone and wanted life to stay. The ones who were alone enjoyed staying to themselves. With no life near them except the Star giving their planet life. And, the moons controlling their magnetic patterns.” I take a drink, giving my shy voice a rest.

           “The second time I stepped into the cockpit, to take off for the string of Kepler 15. Was one of the happiest moments of my life. The aggravation that went along with the journey of rehabilitation. The freedoms that I would lose when I came home. Became to overwhelming and I began wondering should I even come home?” The Colonial sits shocked by the remarks. “We said a Prayer to the gods”. He begins the Prayer, “And, they answered,” I said back to him.

Thrasher lays out a humph before resuming. “When I was a child we were practically eating each other. I remember my mother was only 16 years old when she had me. Before the great Prayer, life expectancy was thirty years of age. It was almost medieval.” Thrasher and I take a pause drinking our cups. Before he continued, “Now I am reaching the age of one hundred and five. I still feel like I have another forty years left. I remember a time before society and innovation. The competition among ourselves.” The thought of being born during the sand era disturbed me. He continued, “Then I realized the disturbing truth. The gods didn’t answer our prayers. They abandoned the responsibility of answering prayers. I realized a disturbing truth looking at you. One that disturbs me to my core.

“We are the gods now”.

©

01/29/24